My mothers day recollection five days before I gave birth...

I read.
The man in the basement will quite readily tell you that I have read more than anyone else that he has ever met.
Sixteen years ago ,hugely pregnant and stuck in a sham of a marriage, I trusted books such as " What to expect when you are expecting " in expectation that was in fact reality. Perhaps in some sort of defense mechanism to grasp some semblence of normalacy, pregnancy books ( any books) was preferred to the disfunctionality of my own life ( married to a man who was abusive,alcholic, and an addict who preferred to place his relationship with me at the bottom of his priorities under his mother,his friends,beer, his uncontrollable dog, poker.... fer gawds sake ...he literally couldn't screw in a lightbulb in a fix er up post war house that I later called the shitbox). At that point, I suppose I had settled in my mind that I had made my proverbial bed and should make the best of it....

I was one and a half weeks overdue lying on a futon ( on the floor since the ex didn't want to spend money on a real bed) alone ( he was out of the country) on Mothers Day morn when reality hit.

I would never sleep in on another Sunday morning until my unborn daughter hit puberty and started to sleep in on weekends herself. The realization rolled over me like a cold rolling whitecap.
My pregnancy fog must have just lifted as I'm an educated woman, I have a post secondary education, I work,and used to spend my spare time volunteering on non profit boards...... at that very moment....

It just occured to me ,that I would not only be able to not sleep in on weekends and further I may be up every two hours to feed ,change and console this little person who was currently kicking my spleen. My life as a single Mother who just happened to have her name next to someone elses on a marriage certificate was about to begin.

Sixteen years later and one extra little person later , I sit typing on Mothers Day morning while my girls make breakfast . Peanut butter and banana toast.... mmmmmmm.
Is motherhood worth 1536 lost hours of weekend sleep ?

You betcha!

Happy Mothers Day !